Facts (Not Really) O’ Fun (That’s True Though)
1) Hope Solo is so clutch that even pressure cringes when it sees her.
2) Never feel complacent when walking around the USWNT hotel. There may or may not be a Mittsy waiting to scare the ____ out of you.
3) The superhero Captain America is said to have Super-Soldier formula which is, “superhuman powers that include increased agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete who ever competed.” That comes naturally to Christie Rampone.
4) Becky Sauerbrunn’s relationship with sleeves is like the Hulk’s relationship with walls. They get in the way.
5) Kelley O’Hara is so versatile and can play basically any position. She plays defender, midfielder, forward, she could play freakin’ running back for the Falcons if she wanted to, that’s how good she is.
6) Amy LePeilbet is a ninja. Silent, agile, ninjaness.
7) Shannon Boxx runs everywhere on the field every game. She covers as much ground in 90 minutes as I do in a week.
8) Amy Rodriguez is so fast that by the time the opponents have caught up to her, she’s gotten out a lawn chair and made fresh squeezed lemonade.
9) Heather O’Reilly game faces are better than everything.
10) If you are in the line of fire of one of Carli Lloyd’s shots, you must make a decision. Take one for the team or get hit and feel it for the next month.
11) Ali Krieger+her skills=a boss. Simple math.
12) Lauren Cheney is the fashion consultant of the team. So if you think showing up to camp in sweatpants, a button down shirt, and fuzzy slippers is a good idea, think again.
13) If you ever race against Alex Morgan, bring a Segway so you have a chance.
14) Sydney Leroux likes shopping, her dog Boss, pregame handshakes with Rapinoe, scoring goals in abundance, saving the universe from utter destruction, so on and so forth.
15) Megan Rapinoe’s hair is nominated for one of the 7 New Wonders of the World.
16) Unlike lightning, Lori Lindsey can strike twice.
17) Tobin Heath’s skills on the ball are one part sick and one part, “I don’t even understand how that is humanly possible.” Just add a tablespoon of nutmeg.
18) Nicole Barnhart is the Baby Whisperer. Every baby in a 10 mile radius automatically falls in love with her.
19) Rachel Buehler is highly intelligent and is the construction business….Buehldozing.
20) If I had a dollar for every time Abby Wambach either scored or had a shot on goal with her head, I’d be sitting on a beach in Cabo with my eight cars next to me and my guard dolphins. That’s right, dolphins.
21) Jill Loyden would stop 10 out of 10 of my PK’s….with her mind.
22) Christen Press can score class goals. They’re so classy even classy professors who teach classy classes about being classy can’t fathom her classy classiness.
23) Julie Johnston captained the U20 National Team to World Cup Victory. Bow. Down. Now.
24) Kristie Mewis was drafted third round first pick, meaning it’ll take her three seconds to pick out her first goal against you. Boom.
25) Yael Averbuch’s free kicks break the speed of sound.